Winnipeg Goldeyes

116

Goldeyes are a fish, of course — they'd just about have to be with a name like goldeye. Apparently it's commonly smoked, and because it's typically smoked in a particular fashion first developed in Winnipeg, the result is commonly called Winnipeg goldeye. In other words, this is a name along the lines of Texas Barbecue or Philadelphia Cheesesteaks, except that no one has ever been foolish enough to use one of those names for a sports team. Well, no one has even done those two precise names. But there are (or have been) teams with names like Chicago Dogs, Alabama Slammers, and Buffalo Wings. Winnipeg Goldeyes doesn't sound as stupid to me as these last three, but I suspect that's largely because I'm not familiar with the food known as Winnipeg goldeye so the full effect of the stupidity isn't hitting me.

I suppose I should be grateful teams don't resort to this sort of approach more often. There's potential for some really bad names out there. I've already mentioned Philadelphia Cheesesteaks and Texas Barbecue (the latter of which could be used in half a dozen other locations). What other potential absurdities are there? Let's see, you could have the Anaheim Peppers. The Mississippi Mud Pies. The Virginia Hams. The California Rolls. The Carolina Reapers.

Okay, I gotta admit that last one would actually work. The others, not so much.

One problem you run into when you name a team after food is coming up with a logo that doesn't look like, you know, food. (I have no idea what a team called the California Rolls could do, for example). Fortunately it's a bit easier when the team is named after an animal you eat, so the Winnipeg Goldeyes logo simply features a fish. Is it specifically a goldeye? It's too stylized to tell, but let's give it the benefit of the doubt. The fish forms the bottom portion of a circle which is also a capital G, and also a baseball. The logo is a bit boring, but it avoids a lot of the pitfalls of minor league logos. Their old logo was more recognizably a goldeye, but it was also holding a baseball bat and wearing a ball cap.

Needless to say, I prefer to new logo. That's not really saying much, because being better than the previous one is really a pretty low bar to clear. And the more I look at it, the more I realize that it really looks more like a corporate logo than a sports logo. It's a little too clean for a sports logo. If you took away the baseball stitches and told me it was the logo for a brand of smoked fish, I'd totally believe it. Because that's what this looks like: a logo for food.

Which makes sense, I suppose, because in essence, that's exactly what it is.

Final Score: 116 points.
Penalties: Letter, 24 pts; Cartoon, 47 pts; Player, 51 pts.
Bonuses: Local, -6.