Oklahoma City Dodgers

72

Most baseball fans know where the name "Dodgers" comes from. Once upon a time there was a baseball team in Brooklyn, which was home to many streetcars. And these streetcars were a menace. Of course, the few streetcars that exist today can reasonably be described as a menace, because they're so damn slow (there's an annual race in Washington D.C. where the object is to outrun the streetcar, and most if not all years a small number of people win). But back in the day, streetcars were a menace because they were so fast. After all, in the days before automobiles, streetcars and horses were pretty much the only things faster than people (and even the horses weren't if they were pulling something heavy). And streetcars were by far more dangerous, because horses were animals concerned with their own well-being and if they saw an idiot human get in their way they'd either stop or change direction. Streetcars, on the other hand, were unthinking, uncaring, unfeeling machines that had no way of knowing some idiot human had gotten in their way. And as a result people who got in streetcars' way tended to end up dead. That made it rather important for the people of Brooklyn to stay out of the streetcars' way. To dodge the trolleys, as it were. And so the team previously known as the Brooklyn Bridegrooms (don't ask) was dubbed the Brooklyn Trolley Dodgers. That soon got shortened to Brooklyn Dodgers. And when the team moved to Los Angeles, the name moved with them. (For what it's worth, there were still a handful of streetcars in Los Angeles at the time, although they didn't last much longer. Neither did the ones in Brooklyn, for that matter.)

With that in mind, it seems appropriate to ask: If the L.A. Dodger's affiliate in Oklahoma City is going to go by the name "Dodgers", does it have any right to do so? Are there any trolleys in Oklahoma City to dodge?

Why, yes, there are. The city has two of them, as it turns out, and both of them go right by the ballpark. So as it turns out, today the "Dodgers" name is actually more appropriate for the farm team than for the major league team. In Oklahoma City, you can have the wholly authentic, utterly terrifying holy-fuck-there's-a-trolley-coming-at-me experience. You can even get killed by one and truly live die the experience. In Los Angeles, the closest you can hope for is to get run over by a car.

As for the logo, the thing that will probably jump out at you first is the brick pattern at the bottom. What, you may be wondering, is that? That, dear reader, is local color. The stadium where the OKC Dodgers play is Insert-Sponsor-Name-Here Bricktown Ballpark, so named because it is in a part of Oklahoma City named Bricktown. Bricktown is named Bricktown because it has had a bunch of brick buildings since the late 19th Century. That seems a bit odd to me; I don't see why brick buildings would be restricted to one small part of town such that naming that part after bricks would be a reasonable thing to do, but I've never been to Oklahoma City, so maybe there's something I'm missing. Insert-Sponsor-Name-Here Bricktown Ballpark is constructed out of bricks, of course, though it should be pointed out that brick isn't exactly an unusual building material for ballparks. It helps the stadium fit into the neighborhood, because most of the buildings there are still brick. In fact, there's even a street or two paved with bricks.

Basically, what I'm saying is that I actually have to give this team a "Scenery" penalty because of freaking bricks in the logo. I don't want to do this, because I think it's kind of neat, but rules are rules.

The other main feature of Bricktown, incidentally, is Bricktown Canal. Bricktown Canal connects the Oklahoma River to...well, nothing, really. As best as I can determine the city just thought it would spruce up the Bricktown area a bit if they put a canal through it. I'm not knocking it. I looked at it on Google Maps and it actually does look pretty nice. If you ever find yourself in Oklahoma City and the weather's nice, it would probably be a nice excursion to wander along the canal, or maybe ride one of the water taxis.

You can get off the water taxi about half a block from the ballpark. Then you can climb the steps up to street level. Then you can cross the street. And then you can get run over by a trolley. Hey, it's the authentic Dodger experience, right?

Final Score: 72 points.
Penalties: Script, 7 pts; Scenery, 11 pts; Offspring, 12 pts; Equipment (doubly egregious), 42 pts.
Bonuses: None.