Teams with asterisks are not yet posted

Aberdeen IronBirds
Acereros del Norte
Águila de Veracruz
Aigles de Trois-Rivières
Akron RubberDucks
Albuquerque Isotopes
Algodoneros de Unión Laguna
Altoona Curve
Amarillo Sod Poodles
Arkansas Travelers
Asheville Tourists
Augusta GreenJackets
Beloit Sky Carp*
Billings Mustangs
Biloxi Shuckers
Binghamton Rumble Ponies
Birmingham Barons
Boise Hawks
Bowie Baysox
Bowling Green Hot Rods
Bradenton Marauders
Bravos de León
Brooklyn Cyclones
Buffalo Bisons
Capitales de Quebec
Carolina Mudcats
Cedar Rapids Kernels
Charleston Dirty Birds
Charleston RiverDogs
Charlotte Knights
Charros de Jalisco*
Chattanooga Lookouts
Chicago Dogs
Clearwater Threshers
Cleburne Railroaders
Columbia Fireflies
Columbus Clippers
Conspiradores de Querétaro
Corpus Christi Hooks
Dayton Dragons
Daytona Tortugas
Delmarva Shorebirds
Diablos Rojos del México
Dorados de Chihuahua*
Down East Wood Ducks
Dunedin Blue Jays
Durham Bulls
El Paso Chihuahuas
Empire State Greys*
Erie SeaWolves
Eugene Emeralds
Evansville Otters*
Everett AquaSox
Fargo-Moorhead RedHawks
Fayetteville Woodpeckers
Florence Y'Alls
Fort Myers Mighty Mussels
Fort Wayne TinCaps
Fredericksburg Nationals
Fresno Grizzlies
Frisco RoughRiders
Gary SouthShore RailCats
Gastonia Baseball Club*
Gateway Grizzlies
Generales de Durango
Glacier Range Riders
Grand Junction Jackalopes
Great Falls Voyagers
Great Lakes Loons
Greensboro Grasshoppers*
Greenville Drive
Guerreros de Oaxaca
Gwinnett Stripers
Hagerstown Flying Boxcars*
Harrisburg Senators
Hartford Yard Goats
Hickory Crawdads
High Point Rockers
Hillsboro Hops
Hudson Valley Renegades
Idaho Falls Chukars
Indianapolis Indians
Inland Empire 66ers of San

Iowa Cubs
Jacksonville Jumbo Shrimp
Jersey Shore BlueClaws*
Joliet Slammers
Jupiter Hammerheads
Kannapolis Cannon Ballers
Kansas City Monarchs
Lake County Captains
Lake Country DockHounds
Lake Elsinore Storm
Lake Erie Crushers
Lakeland Flying Tigers
Lancaster Stormers*
Lansing Lugnuts
Las Vegas Aviators
Lehigh Valley IronPigs
Leones de Yucatán
Lexington Legends
Lincoln Saltdogs
Long Island Ducks
Louisville Bats
Lynchburg Hillcats
Memphis Redbirds
Midland RockHounds
Milwaukee Milkmen
Mississippi Braves
Missoula Paddleheads
Modesto Nuts
Montgomery Biscuits
Myrtle Beach Pelicans
Nashville Sounds
New England Knockouts
New Hampshire Fisher Cats
New Jersey Jackals
New York Boulders
Norfolk Tides
Northern Colorado Owlz
Northwest Arkansas Naturals*
Oakland Ballers
Ogden Raptors
Oklahoma City Baseball Club*
Olmecas de Tabasco
Omaha Storm Chasers
Ottawa Titans
Palm Beach Cardinals
Pensacola Blue Wahoos
Peoria Chiefs
Pericos de Puebla
Piratas de Campeche
Portland Sea Dogs
Quad City River Bandits
Rancho Cucamonga Quakes
Reading Fightin Phils
Reno Aces
Richmond Flying Squirrels
Rieleros de Aguascalientes
Rochester Red Wings
Rocket City Trash Pandas
Rocky Mountain Vibes
Rome Emperors*
Round Rock Express
Sacramento River Cats
Salem Red Sox
Salt Lake Bees
San Antonio Missions
San Jose Giants
Saraperos de Saltillo
Schaumburg Boomers
Scranton/Wilkes-Barre RailRiders
Sioux City Explorers
Sioux Falls Canaries
Somerset Patriots
South Bend Cubs
Southern Maryland Blue Crabs
Spokane Indians
Springfield Cardinals
St. Lucie Mets
St. Paul Saints
Staten Island FerryHawks
Stockton Ports
Sugar Land Skeeters
Sultanes de Monterrey
Sussex County Miners
Syracuse Mets
Tacoma Rainiers
Tampa Tarpons
Tecolotes de los Dos Laredos
Tennessee Smokies
Tigres de Quintana Roo
Toledo Mud Hens
Toros de Tijuana
Tri-City Dust Devils
Tri-City ValleyCats
Vancouver Canadians
Visalia Rawhide
Washington Wild Things
West Michigan Whitecaps
Wichita Wind Surge
Wilmington Blue Rocks
Windy City Thunderbolts
Winnipeg Goldeyes
Winston-Salem Dash
Wisconsin Timber Rattlers
Worcester Red Sox*
Yolo High Wheelers
York Revolution
Gateway Grizzlies 103

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Posted 2024 May 4

The Gateway Grizzlies play in Sauget, Illinois, which is basically an industrial park disguised as a village, located just across the Mississippi River from St. Louis. Lest you think this is an exaggeration, let me say that when I went to go some research on this town, I tried to find the official website for the village and the closest I found was a page about the village on the website for the Sauget Business Park. The village was founded to allow chemical plants run by Monsanto (in fact, the original name of the village was Monsanto) to be in a village of their own rather than be part of a nearby town or city that might actually do something to regulate them. One of its main claims to fame is that the village was the largest producer of PCBs in the United States before PCBs were banned and the site of the PCB plant was declared a Superfund site. Today the village is home to a major sewage treatment plant that serves most of the Illinois portion of the St. Louis metropolitan area. In fact, the village president (one Richard Sauget, Jr., great-grandson of the Sauget the village is named after, and incidentally the owner of the Grizzlies) has been quoted as saying point blank, "We were basically incorporated to be a sewer."

In short, this is not a place you really want to live in. And not many people do: it has a population of just 141. Despite this tiny population, it has a police force of 16 people (for comparison, the town I live in has over two hundred times the population but the police force is only six times larger). And why does it have such a large police force? Because crime in Sauget is terrible. It has a higher crime rate than East St. Louis. According to what I found, it has a higher crime rate than 99.9% of cities in the U.S.

In short, it doesn't exactly strike me as someone you'd want to set foot in after dark...or before dark, for that matter. I'm honestly amazed that someone would think to put a baseball team in such a town. But I apparently don't know what I'm talking about, because not only is there a team in town, but that team has been around for nearly twenty-five years. Clearly they're doing something right.

I will begrudgingly concede that one of the things they're doing right is their name. Generally I'm not a fan of naming teams after regions instead of cities, but I think it's fair to cut them a little slack here. There are multiple reasons for not wanting to use Sauget as the locative: first because most people in other cities wouldn't know how to pronounce it (the name is French, so it's "saw-ZHAY"), and second because all the things I described above make it somewhere you don't necessarily want to brag about bring from. Using East St. Louis wouldn't be much better (although at least people know how to pronounce it), and using St. Louis seems rather presumptuous. Using Gateway gives everyone a vague idea of where the team is from without getting into all those unpleasant details. As for the Grizzlies nickname, let's face it: the last thing you want to do is use a name that actually has anything to do with the place. What would such a name even be? Gateway Polluters? Gateway Car Thieves? No, better to go with a generic animal, and don't even worry about the fact that it isn't native to the area. Again, you probably don't want a name that has anything to do with the place.

Is the logo another thing they're doing right? Here I'm not sure. Sometimes I look at the facial expression and think it's a reasonable attempt at drawing an angry anthropomorphized bear. Other times I look at it and think the bear looks constipated. Either way, the eyeblack is a bit odd (yes, some baseball players use it, but in general it's more common in football than baseball), and the ballcap looks way to small.

Still, like I said, it beggars belief that a team could survive three weeks in a place like this, much less a quarter century. If I think they're doing something wrong, that probably says more about me than it says about them.

Final Score: 103 points.
Penalties: Region, 8 pts; Alliteration, 5 pts; Equipment, 13 pts; Humanoid, 30 pts; Cartoon, 47 pts.
Bonuses: None.

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