Columbus Clingstones

150

Apparently it's a type of peach. That's not what I thought of when I first heard the name "Clingstones". The first thing I thought was...well, let's just say there's a part of my brain that never matured beyond junior high school, add that the specific part of my brain that never matured beyond junior high school is "most of it", and leave it at that. For the record, it's not a variety of peach, but rather a category. Varieties (I think the technical term is cultivar, which frankly sounds more like a sci-fi villain than a botany term) where the flesh tends to stick to the pit are— Sorry, the junior-high portion of my brain just kicked in again. Flesh sticking to the pit. Jesus.

Anyway, cultivars where the flesh tends to stick to the pit are called clingstones, and cultivars where the flesh easily separates from the pit are called freestones, and there goes my junior-high brain again. And I haven't even gotten to the concept of (and I swear to you these are actual terms) shaved peaches and fuzzy peaches yet. Oh, man, this is hopeless, isn't it?

Okay, let's move on to the logo and see if we can't grow up a little.

Oh. Oh, shit. I just got a look at the cap insignia. Look to the right. Do you see it? Does it remind you of anything?

And I also just learned their mascot's name is "Fuzzy".

They did all this on purpose, didn't they? They had to. They just had to. There's no way all this is accidental.

I give up.

Final Score: 150 points.
Penalties: Alliteration, 5 pts; Equipment (the baseball in the background), 13 pts; Humanoid, 30 pts; Cartoon, 47 pts; Player, 51 pts; Name, 10 pts.
Bonuses: Local, -6 pts..