Beloit Sky Carp

47

Few logos manage to combine pathos, comedy, and horror the way this one does.

Pathos: The goose — "sky carp" is allegedly a slang term for "goose", although I certainly haven't heard that one before — looks like he's being strangled. Note the scarf around his neck, which may be tied on too tightly. Notice the way his tongue is sticking out, which is reminiscent of the way various creatures are depicted in cartoons when they're being strangled. Cruelty to animals is wrong, so...pathos.

Comedy: Okay, let's re-read that one phrase in my last paragraph: "the way various creatures are depicted in cartoons when they're being strangled." In cartoons. Cartoons are funny. Unlike animals in real life, animals in cartoons being strangled is funny. Animals in cartoons being strangled is funny because they are drawn in a way that looks funny. Also, let's be honest: Canada geese are not animals. Canada geese are demons from the Seventh Hell with feathers. If you've ever encountered Canada geese you know what I'm talking about. So without knowing anything about this specific Canada goose, without any details whatsoever, I know that the Canada goose in this logo deserves to be strangled and to be laughed at while it happens.

Horror: First of all, let me say again that Canada geese are demons from the Seventh Hell with feathers, which means that this logo has a demon from the Seventh Hell with feathers on it. Not horrific enough for you yet? Consider this: It's carrying a wrench. I have absolutely no idea what it intends to do with that wrench, but it can't possibly be good. Because...well, you know. Demons. Seventh Hell. Et cetera. And seeing as how this particular goose is being strangled in a comical fashion, it's pissed off. A pissed off Canada goose is a motivated Canada goose, and speaking as someone who use to work in a building whose parking lot was infested with Canada geese, you do not want to encounter a motivated, pissed-off Canada goose. It's bad enough when the motivated, pissed-off Canada goose doesn't have a wrench, which this one does.

And by the way, did you know that baby Canada geese look like snakes? Don't believe me? Look at the S and C in the team name in the logo. Those are baby Canada geese. Those are, I think, the babies of the currently-being-strangled Canada goose in the logo. This can only mean one of two things. One, the currently-being-strangled Canada goose thinks that her babies are being threatened and the wrench is somehow going to be used to go after what she regards as the source of that threat to her baby Canada goose snakes. Two, the baby Canada goose snakes are there to aid their mother in whatever diabolical scheme she has in mind. Either way, be very, very afraid. Three Canada geese, one of whom has nothing to lose because she's being strangled and is trying to protect her babies/accomplices, and a wrench.

No good can possibly come of this.

Final Score: 47 points.
Penalties: Script, 7 pts; Humanoid (the eyes), 30 pts; Name, 10 pts. Bonuses: None.