Lions de Trois-Rivières

10

Q: Remember me?

A: Um...should I?

Q: First of all, I'm the Q and you're the A, so you shouldn't be asking me questions.

A: Then you shouldn't be making statements like you just did.

Q: You started it.

A: Still a statement and not a question.

Q: Did you start it?

A: Fine, yes, I did. But I don't remember you.

Q: I was the guy who was asking you last year about les Aigles de Trois-Rivières.

A: Oh, right. You're not about to ask me to explain the origin of the name Trois-Rivières again, are you?

Q: No, I could go read that article if I wanted to wade through that again, which I don't.

A: So what are you doing here?

Q: Well, you know that Trois-Rivières has a hockey team now, right?

A: Yeah.

Q: So I wanted to ask you about that.

A: Seriously? There's like 70 minor league hockey teams and nearly 200 minor league baseball teams and the only time you show up is when a team in Trois-Rivières is involved. Why are you so fascinated with Trois-Rivières?

Q: Dude, I don't even exist! I'm just a fictional character you created when you were writing the review for les Aigles and which you decided to bring back for les Lions.

A: Did I give you permission to break the fourth wall like that?

Q: Don't worry, I'll clean it up when we're done.

A: Okay.

Q: So what do you think?

A: Well, I assume you're asking about the name or logo, since we've established we're not going to repeat all that jazz about the city's name.

Q: Pretty much.

A: So les Lions, like les Aigles, are named after an older team, so there's only so much you can criticize the name. Plus lions are predators, which is another plus.

Q: Surely there aren't lions in Trois-Rivières.

A: No, there aren't...and don't give me set-ups to jokes from a movie that came out when I was in elementary school.

Q: It was a good movie.

A: It was a great movie.

Q: ...

A: You were asking if there are any lions in Trois-Rivières and I was saying no.

Q: What about the logo?

A: You know, I really want to like the logo.

Q: But you don't?

A: Have you ever read a review for an album or movie or whatever, and the way the reviewer describes it makes you think you're really going to like it, but then you listen to it or see it or whatever and it just doesn't grab you?

Q: So you think it's not a good logo?

A: Okay, maybe that analogy wasn't quite right. Have you ever been listening to an album or watching a movie and thought to yourself, I know this is really good from a technical perspective, but I'm just not feeling it? That's how I feel.

Q: Go on.

A: So it's a team in Québec called les Lions, right? And the logo is a lion's face framed by a fleur-de-lis. It's brilliant. It's a fantastic idea. But when I look at it, it just sort of weirds me out. From a distance you might not even notice the lion. And from close up it looks sort of creepy.

Q: Creepy?

A: I think it's the fact that there's a spot that clearly represents the eyes, but there are no actual eyes. I mean, I don't think eyes would help much — they'd probably make it even creepier — but it just looks off without them.

Q: Is it just me or do the eyes look more like human eyes than lion eyes?

A: That's a good point. That may be it. Also, the fact that the main color is white makes it look sort of ghostly. Add it all up and the overall effect is, as I said, sort of creepy.

Q: You know, now that you say that, I kind of agree with you.

A: Of course you do. You are a fictional character I made up, after all.

Q: Now who's breaking the fourth wall?

A: You broke it first.

Q: So?

A: So clean it up like you said you would.

Q: Oh, right.

Final Score: 10 points.
Penalties: Anthropomorphization, 10 pts.
Bonuses: None.